Just as being present with pain or discomfort in a yoga asana can release blockages and bring the body and mind into harmony, being fully present with uncomfortable conflicts that arise in a relationship can bring us back into harmony and communion with ourselves and our partner. Through what we might call the yoga of relationship, we discover our connectedness and realize the loving awareness that is our deepest nature.
Awkward is an opportunity to grow….
When we enter into an intimate relationship, few of us escape visitations of insecurity and shame, of aversion and jealousy. Learning to bring awareness and a openhearted presence to these kinds of feelings, rather than reacting out of fear or hurt, is not easy.. But when we are willing to stay put and pay attention at precisely the moments when we most want to lash out, cling tightly, or pull away, our relationship becomes a path of deep personal healing and spiritual transformation.
I believe we subconsciously manifest these situations of uncomfortably as a personal alarm bell, alerting us of an opportunity to delve into our mysterious psyche and take a look at what we are no longer need to carry. Personally, when I am confronted by the heat of anxiety, anger, neediness or the want to manipulate a situation.
I have found the most successful tactic to be…
A meditation and diary write upon the origin of my feelings, where I often find a connection to deep seated insecurities and beliefs conditioned into my personality at an early age. Once I have taken these precious moments out for myself, I am filled with much more compassion for the situation and those involved (including myself ,which has been major development for me!). With a better understanding of my emotions they loose their grip on my clear/ conscious thinking and I able to communicate in a manner which is of service to both myself and others. I am often surprised at the results being feelings of self assurance, intimacy, mutual understanding and trust.
As with any type of yoga, one of the blessings of the yoga of relationship is the profound inner freedom that comes from the process healing and journey to self realisation …. Pure consciousness , wisdom, compassion and love.